Ganpati

Indians LOVE festivals, holidays, or any excuse to drink, party and be merry. And from what I've gathered all such occasions begin with a religious undertone. After all, who is going to oppose a celebration in the name of religion? Smart thinking.

The Ganesh Chaturthi or Ganesh Festival, is an exercise in organized chaos. Celebrated over 11 days, it seems to be the event of the year in Mumbai and one that brings out the spiritual side of even the most jaded. Kinda like Christmas but without the presents. Similar to Durga Puja in Kolkata there were temporary temples (known as pandals) all over the city which housed the idols for display before between taken on the procession for immersion. I was feeling lazy and didn't take my camera along so I have no photographic evidence of them. BUT, I did take some snaps of the procession down to ChowpattyBeach.

The sea of people was more monumental than the sea itself, which welcomed the idols.

Honestly, I think I liked Durga Puja better. Granted my DP experience was more organized. But in Kolkata there was definitely a more "community celebratory feel" to the whole thing. Peeps in Mumbai said that Ganpati is more of a family celebration.

Though one does see the competitive spirit that emerges out of who has the biggest better pandal (it always comes down to that doesn't it), the lines that form out of some of them are counter productive. I'm sorry but I'm not going to stand in line for 2-3 hours to look at a big paper maiche and plaster elephant, no matter how pretty and significant it is.

Anywho, these are a few pics of the immersion at night (it was WAY too hot to go during the day), that is before the police told me to stop taking pictures because apparently there was a bomb scare. Granted why would a terrorist be taking pictures of the end of an event if he was hoping to blow it up, is beyond me, but who am I to question these things.

Things about India I hate (or just plain annoy the fuck out of me)

Living in a developing country definitely has its fair share of crap that one has to get used to. Not to say that developed countries are perfect, but I think the nature of the things that one has to put up with is different.

The items in the following list are by no means unique to India, but since this is where I have been living for the past 12 months their context is all Indian. And it does wear you down.

1) The Traffic - allegedly there are some sort of traffic regulations that drivers are meant to follow. Supposedly there is some sort of licensing procedure for prospective drivers. Theoretically in India one drives on the left-side of the lane. IN PRACTICE HOWEVER, none of these things hold true. The roads in India are a chaotic mess of blaring horns (there has to be some sort of genetic disorder which forces Indians to constantly pound on the horn for no good reason, or maybe its some sort of advanced Morse code where drivers have conversations with each other. Who knows, but it is fucking annoying), meandering animals, auto-rickshaws, decrepit careening buses, pedestrians, cars, carts, bicycles, and trucks all vying for the same piece of space at the same time, coming from all directions. Fun! It's like a live version of Frogger.

2) The Rude People - I do understand that rules of etiquette vary country-by-country. However, name one place where it is consider polite to push and shove, and not even attempt to form some sort of orderly system to get serviced or acknowledged. So while I just accept it out of fear of mob rule in my head I scream: "Yes motherfucker I was standing here before you, No you cannot place your order before me, or after me for that matter that lady there is next". "Bitch, you see this group of people here, they ALL arrived before you, go to the end. No one cares that you are late, next time leave earlier". "Yo asshole, I would have moved if you had asked nicely, push me one more time and I'll go ghetto on your ass". Ugh!!

3) The Corruption - This may not be Nigeria (which by all accounts is the most corrupt nation in the world), but the corruption here is pretty ridiculous. I'm not too familiar with the issues at the higher levels, but I have had to deal with police trying to get bribes (and succeeding a couple of times), having to pay an extra Rs.500 to get a package sent to me because "We don't acknowledge a US passport as valid proof of ID." Give me a fucking break!

3) The spitting, pissing, shitting in public - Either Indians are the phlegmiest people in existence or they have way too many upper respiratory problems, compound that with the incessant chewing of betel nut , paan, and/or tobacco, and you have a nicely splotched vista. Most public (and private) spaces have signs forbidding spitting, yet you find tell-tale red splotches everywhere (even the courthouse - I've witnessed one too many lawyers expectorating their juicy remains unto the walls.) We also have the men (and occasional women) who seems to be unable to wait till they got home or to their next place of business to relieve themselves. In case no one has had the distinct pleasure of smelling festering urine cooking in the afternoon heat, well you don't know what you are missing. And lastly, there is poo everywhere! Major urban areas, and particularly Mumbai, has housing shortages. Which creates this whole group of people known as "the pavement dwellers" which the US would classify as homeless. Well being homeless means you have no bathroom and living in an urban area means that there are no fields. And human nature being what it is. Well you get the point.

4) The obsession with skin color (namely fair) - This seems to be a global phenomenon. Most people want to be lighter than the next guy, except if you a re white which then you try to be tan, but not too tan because you don't want to be dark either. India has a whole industry around whitening products, "Fair and Lovely" for women and "Fair and Handsome" for men and two of the major brands. The advertising for these are absurd bordering on the insulting. It grates on my nerves when people say, "you can't be from the Caribbean you are too fair". From skin lightning creams, lotions, soaps, foundations, make-ups, you name it. Anything to achieve that apparently perfect concept of beauty - White!

5) The unprofessionalism of the NGO sector (and at times government) - For the record, I have learned since moving to India that expecting meetings to start and end on time, to have meeting agendas, to expect people to pay attention, turn their mobiles off, stay focused on the issue, keep records, document findings, follow policies and procedures, et al is a western concept and I will have to be patient for people here to adopt these practices. Fucking Bullshit! Sounds business practices are sound business practices. Its not asking too much for people to follow fucking deadlines, especially when money is involved and particularly when I'm paying you. You want to know what's hindering development in India the lack of ownership and accountability that is permeating the system.

Sigh! I guess that's enough for now, I should leave some more to have something to bitch about when I leave India.

Things I like (or learned to like), sometimes even love, about India

On Wednesday, August 31, 2005 Air India Flight 112 brought me to Indira Gandhi International Airport. I landed here with the intent of living in India for a year. And that I did. And I'm actually still here.

Tomorrow I'll focus on the negative side, but for today, let's talk about the good.

India has many things to offer for all tastes, and if you don't think things too seriously it can give you quite a rewarding adventure.

Now to the list!

1) The landscape. India is a large geographically diverse country with mountains, deserts, beaches, hills, plains, and anything else you may want. India affords you a breath-taking scenery and many times unspoiled by modern development.

2) The food. Though I readily admit that "Indian" cuisine is not my top favorite. Some of the regional dishes are absolutely phenomenal. The seafood in West Bengal or Konkan food is divine.

3) The textiles. The artistry of woven fabrics is amazing. The colors and textures that are created attest to the rich craft heritage. Some of the sari work is incredible.

4) The history. India is old. Really old.

5) The people. The passion, friendliness, warmth, and hospitality is a deeply rooted cultural trait. (be warned that you will find "the people" in the negative list also).

6) The extremes. At times it feels that this is a country of absolutes. Absolute poverty vs. Absolute wealth. Absolute right vs. Absolute wrong. Black vs. White. Good vs. Evil. Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera. No room for gray areas. Extreme development in the same block as abject poverty. It's quite fascinating.

Hum, I know there is more, but how does one verbalize it?

Non-Sequitur

Pronunciation: 'nän-'se-kw&-t&r also -"tur
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, it does not follow
1 : an inference that does not follow from the premises; specifically : a fallacy resulting from a simple conversion of a universal affirmative proposition or from the transposition of a condition and its consequent
2 : a statement (as a response) that does not follow logically from or is not clearly related to anything previously said
3 : a really funny and clever comic strip.


EVERYONE BLOGS! It's a fad, it's a trend, it's the live memoirs of the information age. But sometimes, a lot of times, its filled with crap.

I blog because my friends and family are spreadthroughoutt the globe, and I use this medium to share my personal experiences, my exasperations, and my joyous moments. Kinda like meeting the girls for coffee, only the cafe is a data-stream spreading through the planet.

Though I have not been faced with blogger's block yet, I have found myself with too many things to share, and too little time to do it adequately. So what I end up doing is throwing some random pieces of stream of consciousness into, at times, meaningless phrases. In hopes that the people thatIi am speaking to can decipher my message.

I most say though, as cathartic as it may be to be able to vent out my feelings in a public pseudo-journal I miss the interaction and conversations that you get with actually speaking face-to-face.

What is the lesser of the evil shrinking the global village or disconnectingourselvess from some of the basic tenets ofhumana nature - companionship, physical contact. Can an online community provide the same support systems as a tangible one?

TeeHee!

Pearls Before Swine is witty, sarcastic, and rudely funny...it reminds me a lot of me. As a former resident of Calcutta I feel obliged to share this Sunday's strip.



Please join me in a round of giggling.

I must say though, that cows in Indian overall, not just Cal, are pretty damn cocky. I think they know no one is going to do anything to them, so they get away with doing what ever they want.

A year in the Third World

As I sit in the mall tapping in to the free Wi-Fi enjoying my chocolate croissant and skim latte I can't help but wander how have I been able to survive in a developing country away from all the comforts I had grown accustomed too.

Damn I have been in India for a year! (just shy of two weeks but close enough).

The past 11 and a half months (minus 10 days in Hong Kong) have definitely had its share of trials and tribulations. There quite a few things I hate about this country (every country has something) and quite a few that I love, and countless others that I really miss from back home.

But to me the most important thing is that I have actually done it. I have been able to step out of my protective bubble and thrown myself into a new environment and survived. Kudos for Andy!

The French emigre, Claude Arpi, wrote an article titled, "10 things I hate about India" after living in the country for over 30 years. Like him, I feel there are way more good things than bad. Unlike him, most of my complaintsts are superficial.

My friend Lauren (who was part of the same fellowship that brought me here initially - and a NY Italian) had this to say on her last day in the country:

"Leaving India tomorrow and although I love India it is really time to just get the heck out of here. I am tired of the crowds and the traffic, tired
of hitting my head on everything b/c its all made for short people, tired of malnourished children or people with 2 or more serious deformities hovering all over the street asking for money, tired of being stared at by gross men, tired of yelling all day every day and just plain tired.

There are some things I really love about this country though. Here is my top 10 (well, 11) list:

11) You can bribe your way out of anything.

10) If you are here long enough you make sounds with you butt that you never thought possible.

9) Mob rule wins every time. There are so many freaking people that if you get even a small percentage of the population to agree with you that's a damn lot of people.

8) South Bombay socialites excluded, people are not afraid to eat.

7) In a city like Bangalore with 6 million people there are still cows meandering in the middle of the road.

6) Cleaning toilets, sweeping floors, ironing clothes and swabbing floors are seen as work- real work, like it should be. And you usually pay someone to do it.

5) Salman Khan, a famous Bollywood actor, ran over a few homeless people and walked away scot-free, but then shot an endangered animal and went straight to the slammer.

4) The world is your toilet and nature is your piss pot.

3) Someone who dances like a back-up dancer from a 1985 Michael Jackson video can be a top hip-hop dance teacher in Bombay with over 50 loyal students.

2) Although India men scope foreign women like recently released convicts from Rikers, you have to laugh at them because an overwhelming majority have uni brows, belts with 2 feet of leather hanging off, pants hiked up to their belly button, and shirts with color combinations that can't even be explained by color blindness. Trust me, I've met men in middle of nowhere in Nepal with more fashion
sense.

1) The leader of the largest political party in India, who runs and
controls a lot of the shit going on around here, Ms. Sonia Gandhi, is
I-T-A-L-I-A-N."

In the end, there is not much one can do except "you take the good, you take the bad and there you have, the facts of life!"

Why the fuck do I bother!?

I think everyone has one of those days (or weeks, or lifetime) where they wonder why the hell they picked their profession, "what was I thinking when I thought working in {INSERT CHOSEN CAREER} would be fun?". The following video gives me my doubt for the day.



I have been working in HIV Public Health for 10 years this summer (started way back when with TCRS and the FL HIV Hotline) and sometimes I wonder what has it really made any difference. God knows I didn't go into it for the money, but I don't want to think I wasted a decade of my life either. Yes I am a minuscule (microscopic really) piece of the the overall Global HIV Industry, but still...

I have had one or two heart-warming moments. Most notably my work in Cambodia with the Commune Council of Pursat. In December 2004 they commemorated for the first time World AIDS Day, and held village level education, awareness, and mobilization events, mixed with fun, food, music, and dance. This was a direct result of work that I was involved in. This is the kind of stuff that makes you feel good about yourself.

But then you hear things like what happened to my friend Pat down in Florida. Last year she told me the story of a 16-18 year old kid hitch-hiking down US 1. He had made it as far as Port St Lucie, FL (just north of Palm Beach)all the way from Georgia. The young lad was on his way to South Beach, Miami to get HIV.

That was his plan - To Get HIV.

He wanted HIV because he had a chat friend who had told him how he was positive and he was being given: food, rent, and medical treatment. All for free. "And of course now with these great new drugs,you can lead a normal healthy life and not have to worry." UGH!!!!

If this the kind of mentality that we have to deal with after 20 years of fighting the epidemic. Why the fuck to we bother!? I say from now on its survival of the fittest. If stupid punk ass kids like him, don't want to listen. If they refuse to pay attention and choose to play Russian roulette with their life, who are we to stop them.

On an interesting sidenote:

OBESITY EPIDEMIC AS SOUTH AFRICANS 'PROVE' THEY ARE NOT LIVING WITH AIDS

Obesity Seen as a Sign of Prosperity

South Africa's AIDS epidemic is driving a new health crisis in the country as women, fearful of appearing to be HIV positive, are becoming obese in record numbers.

SOURCE: The Independent, 14/Aug/06
Full text: http://news.independent.co.uk/world/africa/article1219018.ece

~~~~

Sometimes you just can't win.

It's still freaking raining!

Ok, so monsoon was cute and all when it started. The temperature dropped, the pollution dropped, yes it was mucky but it was a small price to pay. But you know what, enough is enough! Ugh!

I'm not a wimp when it comes to rain. I'm used to 6 month long hurricane seasons. But at least we get dried once in a while. I've gone through two umbrellas already and it doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon.

And the worse part is that some of my clothes are getting this oh-so-not-cute mold thing growing on them. Luckily its on only a few pieces, but still! What the fuck is that about!?

I miss the sun :-(

An epidemic of jock itch

Its not bad enough that pissing in public seems to be the national past time of the average Indian male, but I swear that there is more crotch grabbing, scratching, re-adjusting, and just plain holding on to than it is necessary.

As a penis-wielding male, I do understand the need for the occasional adjustment or light scratch, but I try to do this in some subtle way (adjusting your walk for example). I fail to comprehend, however, why 60% of the men that I pass on my way to work (yes I counted, I wanted to be scientific) had their hand on their package.

Either a) the Indian lack of open honest communication about anything sexual combined with 85% of men who are not circumcised has produced a nasty case of dick rot due to poor hygiene; or b) Indian men are insecure about their manhood and are afraid that they dropped it somewhere on their way to wherever and want to make sure it is still there.

What is one to do? The polls are open, solutions await...

A little bit of randomness

It always amuses me when apparently random things occur. Like for example when my friends Deepti, Jen and Kimberly all came to Bombay one weekend and we had a mini grad school reunion. By pure chance Deepti and I moved to India at the same time but for different reasons, and ended in two different cities. Jennifer who had been working in Mongolia ended her stint there and decided to pop into India as a transition back to the civilized world. Kimberly had been sent as a consultant to India and ended in the same city that Deepti was living in. All a matter of chance of course.

Well since we are never ones to take fate for granted, we decided to congregate in Mumbai and celebrate life's little coincedence. These are Jen's pictures.
















Sidenote: Last weekend, my friend Lilly from Cal happened to be stopping in Bombay on her way back from London. Kimberly from DC found herself in Bombay on another consultancy assignment, and Jennifer from the AIF Fellowship who is now officially working in Hyderabad had to come to Bombay for a meeting. Lilly and Jennifer had met during Fashion Week in April. Kimberly and Jennifer had met in Hyderabad. I of course was a common link for all 3. So what do we do, we go out for a sumptuous meal and rejoice on just how small a world it is after all.

On the 30th anniversary of my birth

Turning 30 is actually an interesting experience. I have enough memories (both good and bad) to dwell on. Enough life experience to make educated choices. And still plenty of more time to make mistakes, change my mind, and generally live. So as this day comes to an end, and I commemorate 30 years of existence I like to take a moment to remember all the incredibly chaotic stuff that has happened to the world and me since 1976. And let's be honest, there has been a lot of shit going on.

Since 1976:

• I have been married and divorced twice (Alba and Ricky will always be special to me though)
• The have been countless wars for no good reason, but some with really good spin doctors working the pr
• I have been working in HIV for 10 years, and have to really ask myself if it has made a difference besides increasing my personal debt
• Countless dictators have come and fallen from power (but the US still has to deal with Bush in office)
• I have visited over 25 countries, quite a few I would love to go back to, many I can just scratch off the list and say "been there, done that"
• Millions of people have died from preventable causes ranging from war, disease, famine, boredom, etc.
• I have been loved , genuinely, truly deeply loved by my friends and family (and continue to be loved - one of the most, if not THE most, precious gifts I have)
• Advances in science have outpaced, advance in social consciousness. Sort of like giving a toddler a nuclear device to play with
• I have experienced loss and pain, and it has made me a stronger person
• Advances in medicine have stretched the natural boundaries of our lives. You know what sometimes it is OK to die.
• I have gotten more education than your average puertorican, and I have the student loan debt to prove it
• Politicians have reach new highs in public embarrassment, from Bush to Kadyrov, one wonders why people continue to trust government systems
• I have made more people smile and laugh than I can count.
• Globalization has allow the planet to shrink and the world village to get closer. For better or for worse.
• I have dance, sang, cried in laughter and sorrow and tried to have ass many human experiences as I can manage. Which is more than I can say for millions of people who dont even have access to safe drinking water.

It occurs to me that I should stop while I'm ahead. Though I'm close to the average life expectancy of the men in some African nations, I'm hoping my western opulence will keep me alive for a few more decades of moroseness and nostalgic musings.

Why is working with gay men like herding cats!?

So for the past two days (out of three) I have been facilitating a workshop on Advocacy for the Indian Network for Sexual Minorities, and I swear that I had to deal with more sexual harassment, immature behavior, and downright bitchiness than an elementary school teacher.

To me its ridiculous that a group of adults, of PROFESSIONAL adults at that, would behave in such manner. Why do we always have to continue to undermine our peers and make ourselves feel better by putting down others!?

Am I asking too much by thinking that we as an LGBT community (and yes while I am working and living in India I count myself in that we!) can actually be supportive of each other, and nurture each other's strengths, an actually seek to learn from each other!?

Why must development always have to feel so freaking territorial!? Why must be "friends" with one group mean being enemies of another!?

And why the do I have to raise my voice for a group of grown-ups to fucking pay attention!? UGH!!

Floods, Riots, and Bombings, Oh My!

I know that I have been neglectful of my lil'ole blog these days, but to be honest it really has been kinda crazy over here. In a span of 10 days I had to deal with monsoon floods, Shiv Sena fueled riots (with bus burnings and everything) and then bombings. So I hope you will cut me some slack. And to top it all of, I still have to work! What's a boy to do!?

What has been amazing to me has been the business as usual attitude that seems to permeate the city during these events. While the US has un-ending panic attacks over cesnas flying over the capitol building Mumbaikers just shrug, wipe the dust, help those in need, and get back to work. (Did you know the trains were back on that same night after the bombings.) People keep asking me if things have started to settle down here post-blasts. But you know what, the bombing and ensuing disorientation only lasted 7 hours. And everyone was back at work the next day.

Sonia Ghandi and the President came to Mumbai to pay their respects to the families of the victims, and the people didn't want them to come. They would just get in the way! (Oh, and by the way, the blasted areas were repaired within 24 hours, not a trace left).

I think the US need to pay attention to this sort of attitude, where you acknowledge events, but don't let them rule you. Hum, something to think about, eh?

BTW - The thirtieth anniversary of my birth is in exactly 1 week, panic attacks have commenced.

Lord Help me...

For the past two weeks getting internet access has been harder than finding a virgin at an all girls catholic school. Though I have finally moved into my happy new office space (yey!) getting things to work has been a painful ordeal (boo!). During the same time I have been trying to get internet connected at my house. The thought of being able to work from home and avoiding the traffic enticing me to shell out the installation charge and deposit. However, 2 weeks, 3 phone calls, and 4 'different people coming to my house' later. I have yet to have working internet at home (or at the office).

Currently I don't know who to blame (because of course it is someone's fault). I'm torned between blaming karmic forces torn asunder by the monsoon or the fact that all of the good engineers have left India and all we are left with are the drags which did not seem good enough to get a job abroad. Either or it's the same. I still don't have reliable net access. But I keep getting promised that it will be up and running soon. Sigh!

On Traveling

As most of you know I have done a fair bit of jet-setting my young'ish age. And I can say that India by far is the most patience trying place in the world when it comes to trying to get around. Be it bus, taxi, rickshaw, train, plane or automobile (unless its your personal car). Traveling in India is test of endurance.

Granted the maxim "you get what you pay for" holds more truth in this country than in others, but the headaches are from a systemic level.

Case in point, I went to Kolkata this weekend to finish getting the rest of my things so I can finally finish settling into my new life here in Mumbai, and the airport was utter chaos. From the check-in (for having been colonized by the British for 200 hundred years you would think the concept of orderly queuing would have seeped in), to the stampede at the security check (I've seen brawlers be more civilized), to getting on the plane (apparently Indian believe that if you don't hurry on board the plane will leave without you), to getting off (along the same line of though as previously if you don't hurry off the plane it will take off with you still in it). And I still had to come back!

I love going new places or revisiting familiar ones, but I just really hate the getting there. Maybe as I age (and get more impatient) I realize that the journey IS NOT as important as the destination. The journey is the trial that makes you worthy of the destination.

A matter of perspective

It is fascinating to me the assumptions that we make sometimes. I agree that we all base our world view from our individual experiences, acculturation, positions of power and privilege, etc. But it still strikes me when I hear/see evidence that goes against, my pre-conceived notions.

I admit that I am superficial, as a matter of fact, I pride myself in it, because I know that my particular level of superficiality is benign (I don’t starve myself to fit into a body concept, I don’t openly discriminate against ugly people, I don’t make fun of people to their face when they don’t know how to dress).

That being said, I admit that I did find it extremely fascinating that the burqa was not mentioned at all by Muslim women during interviews on the needs of the female Muslim community.

Western believed theoretical symbol of oppression aside, I just honestly do not know how they survive underneath those portable ovens. I can barely manage in my light linens in physically pains me (I don think I sweat more) when I see these women walk around as if nothing was wrong covered head to toe in black – most of the time synthetic – OVER their clothes. Maybe Muslim women are just built stronger.

I agree that there are other more important priorities in the empowerment of Muslim women, but do you not think you would be more comfortable in that voting booth in some shorts and a tank top?

MUSLIM WOMEN DON'T SEE THEMSELVES AS OPPRESSED
New York Times reported in Push Journal 08/Jun/06
SOURCE: Push Journal, 08/Jun/06

Political Equality is Seen to be More Important Than Gender Equality

Muslim women do not think they are conditioned to accept second-class status or view themselves as oppressed, according to a survey released by the Gallup Organization.

The survey, "What Women Want: Listening to the Voices of Muslim Women," is a part of The Gallup World Poll, which plans to survey 95 percent of the earth's population over the next century.

According to the poll, conducted in 2005, a strong majority of Muslim women believe they should have the right to vote without influence, work outside the home and serve in the highest levels of government. In more than 8,000 face-to-face interviews conducted in eight predominantly Muslim countries, the survey found that many women in the Muslim world did not see sex issues as a priority because other issues were more pressing.

When asked what they resented most about their own societies, a majority of Muslim women polled said that a lack of unity among Muslim nations, violent extremism, and political and economic corruption were their main concerns.

The hijab, or head scarf, and burqa, the garment covering face and body, seen by some Westerners as tools of oppression, were never mentioned in the women's answers to the open-ended questions, the poll analysts said.

Concerning women's rights in general, most Muslim women polled associated sex equality with the West. 78 per cent of Moroccan women, 71 per cent of Lebanese women, and 48 per cent of Saudi women polled linked legal equality with the West. Still, a majority of the respondents did not think adopting Western values would help the Muslim world's political and economic progress.

The most frequent response to the question, "What do you admire least about the West?" was the general perception of moral decay, promiscuity and pornography that pollsters called the "Hollywood image" that is regarded as degrading to women.

At 97 per cent, Lebanon had the highest percentage of women who said they believed they should be able to make their own voting decisions, followed by Egypt and Morocco at 95 per cent. Pakistan was lowest, at 68 per cent.

On male bondage, err, bonding

I wanted to write something on the level on non-sexual same sex intimacy that goes on in India for a while, but never seemed to get around to it. But, Sonia’s blog entry on scared straight boys got me motivated enough to write a few words.

One of the things that I enjoy the most in India is the bonding that happens within men (and I assume women). You see men holding hands, leaning against each other; I have even seen them resting their heads on each other’s laps and stroke their hair. And though I do not deny that sex does occur between heterosexually self-identified men, for the most part these interactions are not sexual in nature. It is just a normal part of male bonding.

I attribute this to the fact that in a country with a high level of gender segregation, men and woman socialize separately (for the most part). When you predominately socialize among same-sex groups, but still have the innate need for physical intimacy, for human touch, you lean on your friends to satisfy that need. What is wrong after all with men hugging!?

The sad part is when you notice a socio-economic divide on this behavior. The upper classes with a higher sense of western sensibilities seem to be more “homophobic” towards same-sex physical closeness. “That is SO gay after all!”

I do think that something the west can learn from this is that it is ok for men to touch. Holding hands, leaning on each other, hugging, does not a fag make. If it gives you wood, and you have the sudden urge to get down on your knees and service your buddy, THEN you should start to wonder if you may be displaying homosexual tendencies.

There is so much more than can be said on this, but I will leave that for a nice conversation while we play with each other’s hair.

A few weeks back my friend David stopped in Mumbai on his way back to Mexico after working in India for the past year. On his last day we did a bit of meandering through downtown Mumbai as a partign glimpse of India. It was sad, but I must say I enjoyed speaking Spanish the whole time, something I have't done in eons. And it was fun getting staired at for blatantly and loudly speaking a foreign tongue on mumbai's streets :-)

Eating Pan, totally Indian, totally gross.

On the Weather

Hallelujah I have survived the heat!! Now we shall see if I make it through the monsoon.

It has been raining in Mumbai for the past 48 hours, but apparently this is not the monsoon, rather it is the pre-monsoon showers. What the f%$k!? Though everything is gross and mucky and traffic is backed-up and streets are semi flooded the one good thing I have noticed so far is that it is NOT insufferably hot. Yippee! Dampness aside, it is actually quite pleasant. Who would have thought it!?

I must say though, the peak of the heat (Apr-May) was physically painful, soul draining, and down right nasty. I cannot believe people put up with it year-after-year it really is mutilating. And I had the extreme privilege (sarcasm duly noted I hope) to experience summer heat in four different cities. Ahmedabad was the worst for shear high temperature, but Kolkata was the most disgusting with its lovely mix of high humidity and high temperatures (and my god is it hard to look cute in 40 C and 80% humidity). Thankfully Mumbai was not awful. It was bad, but almost tolerable. I guess there is something to be said for being a coastal town, granted I am no where near any beach like area.

I must say thought, what made all of summer worth it was the mangoes. Yum! Indians do go crazy for their mangoes. With varies species of mangoes touted over others (I honestly lost track of which is supposed to be the King of mangoes). But it is crazy in how many places mangoes appear. Mango Pickle, mango chutney, mango drinks, mango ice cream, mango soy milk! And points go to the non-Indians who knew that paisley prints are an old Indian patterned based on a mango. Does anyone out there know if there is a mango festival that I am missing with a crown mango princess? If there is not one, I think we need to start one. I am thinking food stalls selling deep-fried-mango-on-a-stick.