On male bondage, err, bonding

I wanted to write something on the level on non-sexual same sex intimacy that goes on in India for a while, but never seemed to get around to it. But, Sonia’s blog entry on scared straight boys got me motivated enough to write a few words.

One of the things that I enjoy the most in India is the bonding that happens within men (and I assume women). You see men holding hands, leaning against each other; I have even seen them resting their heads on each other’s laps and stroke their hair. And though I do not deny that sex does occur between heterosexually self-identified men, for the most part these interactions are not sexual in nature. It is just a normal part of male bonding.

I attribute this to the fact that in a country with a high level of gender segregation, men and woman socialize separately (for the most part). When you predominately socialize among same-sex groups, but still have the innate need for physical intimacy, for human touch, you lean on your friends to satisfy that need. What is wrong after all with men hugging!?

The sad part is when you notice a socio-economic divide on this behavior. The upper classes with a higher sense of western sensibilities seem to be more “homophobic” towards same-sex physical closeness. “That is SO gay after all!”

I do think that something the west can learn from this is that it is ok for men to touch. Holding hands, leaning on each other, hugging, does not a fag make. If it gives you wood, and you have the sudden urge to get down on your knees and service your buddy, THEN you should start to wonder if you may be displaying homosexual tendencies.

There is so much more than can be said on this, but I will leave that for a nice conversation while we play with each other’s hair.