Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Why the fuck do I bother!?

I think everyone has one of those days (or weeks, or lifetime) where they wonder why the hell they picked their profession, "what was I thinking when I thought working in {INSERT CHOSEN CAREER} would be fun?". The following video gives me my doubt for the day.



I have been working in HIV Public Health for 10 years this summer (started way back when with TCRS and the FL HIV Hotline) and sometimes I wonder what has it really made any difference. God knows I didn't go into it for the money, but I don't want to think I wasted a decade of my life either. Yes I am a minuscule (microscopic really) piece of the the overall Global HIV Industry, but still...

I have had one or two heart-warming moments. Most notably my work in Cambodia with the Commune Council of Pursat. In December 2004 they commemorated for the first time World AIDS Day, and held village level education, awareness, and mobilization events, mixed with fun, food, music, and dance. This was a direct result of work that I was involved in. This is the kind of stuff that makes you feel good about yourself.

But then you hear things like what happened to my friend Pat down in Florida. Last year she told me the story of a 16-18 year old kid hitch-hiking down US 1. He had made it as far as Port St Lucie, FL (just north of Palm Beach)all the way from Georgia. The young lad was on his way to South Beach, Miami to get HIV.

That was his plan - To Get HIV.

He wanted HIV because he had a chat friend who had told him how he was positive and he was being given: food, rent, and medical treatment. All for free. "And of course now with these great new drugs,you can lead a normal healthy life and not have to worry." UGH!!!!

If this the kind of mentality that we have to deal with after 20 years of fighting the epidemic. Why the fuck to we bother!? I say from now on its survival of the fittest. If stupid punk ass kids like him, don't want to listen. If they refuse to pay attention and choose to play Russian roulette with their life, who are we to stop them.

On an interesting sidenote:

OBESITY EPIDEMIC AS SOUTH AFRICANS 'PROVE' THEY ARE NOT LIVING WITH AIDS

Obesity Seen as a Sign of Prosperity

South Africa's AIDS epidemic is driving a new health crisis in the country as women, fearful of appearing to be HIV positive, are becoming obese in record numbers.

SOURCE: The Independent, 14/Aug/06
Full text: http://news.independent.co.uk/world/africa/article1219018.ece

~~~~

Sometimes you just can't win.

5 comments:

Themadi said...

But don't you think there's an inherent, qualitative difference between people who willfully choose to get infected and the millions of others who didn't have a say in the matter due to lack of knowledge, education, autonomy, power, whatever? In that public health initiatives don't, for the most matter, target the former?

Also this video is very interesting. The young man "accepting his fate" and getting infected--that's interesting. But what I am amused by is the interviewer's utter incredulity. He so wants this guy to say, "I'm unhappy and miserable. I know I will die soon. I am regretful and sad." And the dude is completely uncooperative, even a touch defensive.

Is HIV Hot?--somewhat desperate attempt at understanding his own documentary:)

Anonymous said...

this was heartbreaking. what really got to me was when he answered the question of how his parents reacted, his mom has been expecting him to become infected just because he was gay???? that says a lot right there.

andy, you're such a sweet man, i love you dearly, you're sounding burned out, honey.

there are lots of self destructive people out there, not much we can do about them except offer counseling & support for them to change. meanwhile, being an agent for getting information out to those who will actually use it is a HUGE thing. don't lose sight of that. Much love, Terry

Manu said...

But this guy seems to be accepting his fate because I guess he was in love and knew the risks involved. Tragic that his ex left him. But I guess he gambled for something he believed in, which was his relationship with that guy.

Different from those idiots you talked about, the ones that go for 'sero conversion' (is that the term?? S in Mumbai was the first person to tell me about it, we were both horrified!!)just for the heck of it. But keep on doing your good work Andy! You KNOW it makes a difference, despite the occasional nutcase.

xx

Ameet said...

At first I was really apalled at this video. I've been thinking about this all day and feel a bit differently now. The guy wanted to share everything with his ex - even if that meant catching a virus. It's kinda like when Smith shaved his head for Samantha in SATC. Except a LOT more intimate.

Now one might argue that he's putting unnecessary burden on the healthcare system. However, by that logic, we'd also have to conclude that HIV+ people should be denied the kind of physical intimacy this guy gave his ex. That's not a fate I'd wish upon anyone - positive or not.

Now as for the kid who went around FL trying to get infected - that's just stupid. There will always be a few crazy cases like him but remember that for ever one of those kids, there are a many many more who DO use protection. Your work is not in vain - it makes a difference. It's like those PSAs on TV: "talk to your kids - they're listening". It's not obvious but it works.

What IS frustrating though, is that the leader of the host country for a convention about the world's biggest crisis did not feel it was worth his time. Instead, he was touring 'strategic lands' in the arctic. I guess the Christian fundamentalists do believe in global warming after all. Folks - we have another Reagan on our hands!

Anonymous said...

Hi Andres,
I came across your site and this post in particular and wanted to talk to you further about your work in HIV and AIDS here. I'm starting work on a story about AIDS in India and thought you might be a good source to contact...in addition to the fact that you seem to be a totally fabulous person to know ;) Have loved reading through your blog, especially your intro. When you get some time, please email me back at sabrina.buckwalter@gmail.com. Thanks