So today is my last day in India. By this time tomorrow I will be in British Airways flight 198 to London. I can't believe this day arrived.
I honestly leave India with mix feelings. I'm quite excited to see my friends and family who I haven't seen in 2 years. I'm also glad I'm leaving before the summer heat REALLY kicks in (it truly is sweltering already). But mostly I'm glad I'm leaving because I still like India and I want to leave before I don't anymore.
There is one particular point of contention that has struck me this week. Namely the Indian hypocrisy with marriage. For a society that prides itself (to extreme, often absurd ends) in its conservative family structures.
What is often neglected is the foundations of these families - the initial marriage.
I try not to judge (teehee I almost said that with a straight face), but the pervasiveness of arranged marriages in India, really staggers me. Because its not a simple, "I have a son you have a daughter, let's hitch them up" affair. It's more like a business transaction. "What are your assets, what is your family history, where are you from, what do you do, what do you eat, where did you study, how tall, how fat, how fair, what time and day were you born... all these are part of the equation. This past week I have been subjected to having to accompany someone who is arranging his brother's marriage. Mind you the brother lives in Africa, and they are looking for a girl to ship there, because "of course it's the wife's duty to move for the husband." Sigh.
And in the other hand, we have two individuals (among many!) who have recently told me that they are engaged. Granted they are proven homosexuals, but why should being a cocksucker get in the way of pleasing your parents and marrying a woman. Sigh.
So with these parting thoughts I head of to the western hemisphere. To be reunited with my love ones (albeit temporarily) and witness my sister's second wedding, and participate and my dear friend's Lorenzo's first.
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9 comments:
You know I can't wait to see you, but I am sad you are leaving India. My best trip ever, and I have had many, was with you. There.
Everything's fun in small doses. You had a good run and it's time to move on. After all, we know you're not really cut out for slumming it in the third world ;-) I am impressed you lasted so long.
On the whole marriage issue, yeah it's comical. However, you're absolutely right - it's a business arrangement. The whole western ideal of falling in love and "the one" doesn't exist in Indian culture. Marriage and kids are a security structure - since the state doesn't provide much. And since you can't separate the individual from the family, it helps to make sure they're all bearable and won't make slurpy noises at dinner :-)
Regarding cocksuckers getting a bride, it's a matter of time and evolution. Don't forget Elton John was once married to a woman :P
Hope you have a fun trip back and see you soon!
¡Que tengas un buen viaje! Nos vemos pronto. :)
I like he idea of being together because we want to be together.
Dave and I, ten years. Go figure.
The only reason we would get married is for the tax and death benifits.
I read something recently by a straight guy who doesn't want to get married about how the guy always gets screwed. He said the 79% get divorced and that the man always gets screwed.
I kind of agree. High powered guy ends up living in a small apartment after wife sues for divioce and gets most of the stuff.
Anyway, see you soon you lovely man.
Chris
Have a safe trip back home. And try not to argue with your parents for at least the first 5 minutes! :)
Hope our paths can cross!
Bye, Andy, It so happened that I had moved to Mumbai a couple of days ago. And u moved out. Anyways, wish you best for new vocation and old place :-)
On the question of marriage, I too have felt that arranged marriages are well thought out business decisions, involving negotiations which can put best of boards behind. Its different that I do not like it personally. But the ultimate fabric is strong, which acts like social security (As ameet says, the state doesn't provide much in terms of security structure). So, it is like a necessary evil. New generation is trying to break free, with many taking the love-cum-arranged- route. Adn that is something like finding middle path, Buddhha style.
Keep writing, interestingly!
Glad to have got to spend time with you in India. Lots of fond memories :-)
Safe travels
wow, i'm an idiot cause i didn't come visit you while you were there. i need to shake things up...
when are you in DC? get on google and chat with me when you have the chance
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