On breeding

So back in December my friend Andy and his crazy enough to marry him wife gave birth to a girl. Congratulations go to them in this totally new chapter in their lives.

I admit that I am a bit jealous (I love babies) and relieved (thank god it wasn't me!). The thought of breeding both fascinates and terrifies me. I don't know if I will ever have children of my own, but my heart goes out to those that do.

The scariest thing about kids is all the unknown (does that make me a control freak!?). If abortion was legal till say their 10th birthday, then you would have something to fall back on if something goes wrong. But no, once birthed you are stuck with them. And what if they are ugly or stupid. And they are SO expensive!! My ex-BF Ricky once said, we could have a kid or we could take a yearly vacation to some part of the world. We never did either, but still he had a point. The amount of money I spend on holidays would be sucked up by the needs of the child.

Still whenever i see a baby or hear a kid laughing my ovaries churn. I want a kid of my own. It doesn't have to be genetically mine (though let's admit it I have good genes and it would be a shame to deprive the world of them), but I want that unconditional love. I want the chance to contribute towards our future. I want someone who will bring me water, mow the lawn and wash the car and good help is so hard to find these days, so might as well just grow your own.