so i arrive in kolkata late sunday night, i get sent a driver that does not speak any english. i get in the car and we drive off, and we drive...and we drive...and we drive. for the first hour i was ok, this is pretty far. by hour number two i was like where the fuck is this dude taking me!? then when we pull into this country back alley, i was convinced that i had been kidnapped and my organs were going to be sold in the black market. then we pulled into the CINI guest house which is on grounds of the head quarters. driver gets out, says something that i can only assume means "why are you still seating in the car dumbass we are here" and point to a building, where again no one present speaks english either (to all my indian peeps - who was the mofo that said you can get away with english in kolkata!? you suck!!!) in my state of confusion, tiredness, and pissed-offness at being in buttfuck nowhere, i aimless wonder the driver following me. he knocks on some door, gets some keys and points me to a room. i'm like ok, this bites, but what are you going to do. i enter my skanky little room, throw myself on the bed and scream in pain cuz the bed is hard as a freaking rock (i actually think it was made of rocks, but i had no way of confirming) wishing for some hard liquor i dig for my ambien in a weak attempt to make this entire evening disappear. when someone knocks on my door (by mistake of course, but i'll take it). and by a miracle he speaks english! hooray i am saved. we chat for a minute, and he says that he is going to make some calls, talk to some people and he will be back (turns out that he works for CINI in the same office i will be working in) he brings the caretaker by and i find out that I am in the wrong room. they had prepared a room for me, freshly painted (with the fumes to prove it), and...are you ready for this...it's on own bathroom!! i almost got ecstatic, but then remember that i was still in the middle of no where (i think somewhere near the crotch and bellybutton of west bengal). so we get the whole room situation squared away. i learn that someone from the office that i will be working in will come in the morning to get me and i smile and nod, thank them for the help. close the door and pull out the ambien again, wishing form something stronger.
that boys and girls was my first night in kolkata. let the good times roll!
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