Saturday, July 29, 2006

A little bit of randomness

It always amuses me when apparently random things occur. Like for example when my friends Deepti, Jen and Kimberly all came to Bombay one weekend and we had a mini grad school reunion. By pure chance Deepti and I moved to India at the same time but for different reasons, and ended in two different cities. Jennifer who had been working in Mongolia ended her stint there and decided to pop into India as a transition back to the civilized world. Kimberly had been sent as a consultant to India and ended in the same city that Deepti was living in. All a matter of chance of course.

Well since we are never ones to take fate for granted, we decided to congregate in Mumbai and celebrate life's little coincedence. These are Jen's pictures.
















Sidenote: Last weekend, my friend Lilly from Cal happened to be stopping in Bombay on her way back from London. Kimberly from DC found herself in Bombay on another consultancy assignment, and Jennifer from the AIF Fellowship who is now officially working in Hyderabad had to come to Bombay for a meeting. Lilly and Jennifer had met during Fashion Week in April. Kimberly and Jennifer had met in Hyderabad. I of course was a common link for all 3. So what do we do, we go out for a sumptuous meal and rejoice on just how small a world it is after all.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

On the 30th anniversary of my birth

Turning 30 is actually an interesting experience. I have enough memories (both good and bad) to dwell on. Enough life experience to make educated choices. And still plenty of more time to make mistakes, change my mind, and generally live. So as this day comes to an end, and I commemorate 30 years of existence I like to take a moment to remember all the incredibly chaotic stuff that has happened to the world and me since 1976. And let's be honest, there has been a lot of shit going on.

Since 1976:
  • I have been married and divorced twice (Alba and Ricky will always be special to me though)
  • The have been countless wars for no good reason, but some with really good spin doctors working the pr
  • I have been working in HIV for 10 years, and have to really ask myself if it has made a difference besides increasing my personal debt
  • Countless dictators have come and fallen from power (but the US still has to deal with Bush in office)
  • I have visited over 25 countries, quite a few I would love to go back to, many I can just scratch off the list and say "been there, done that"
  • Millions of people have died from preventable causes ranging from war, disease, famine, boredom, etc.
  • I have been loved , genuinely, truly deeply loved by my friends and family (and continue to be loved - one of the most, if not THE most, precious gifts I have)
  • Advances in science have outpaced, advance in social consciousness. Sort of like giving a toddler a nuclear device to play with
  • I have experienced loss and pain, and it has made me a stronger person
  • Advances in medicine have stretched the natural boundaries of our lives. You know what sometimes it is OK to die.
  • I have gotten more education than your average puertorican, and I have the student loan debt to prove it
  • Politicians have reach new highs in public embarrassment, from Bush to Kadyrov, one wonders why people continue to trust government systems
  • I have made more people smile and laugh than I can count.
  • Globalization has allow the planet to shrink and the world village to get closer. For better or for worse.
  • I have dance, sang, cried in laughter and sorrow and tried to have ass many human experiences as I can manage. Which is more than I can say for millions of people who dont even have access to safe drinking water.
It occurs to me that I should stop while I'm ahead. Though I'm close to the average life expectancy of the men in some African nations, I'm hoping my western opulence will keep me alive for a few more decades of moroseness and nostalgic musings.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Why is working with gay men like herding cats!?

So for the past two days (out of three) I have been facilitating a workshop on Advocacy for the Indian Network for Sexual Minorities, and I swear that I had to deal with more sexual harassment, immature behavior, and downright bitchiness than an elementary school teacher.

To me its ridiculous that a group of adults, of PROFESSIONAL adults at that, would behave in such manner. Why do we always have to continue to undermine our peers and make ourselves feel better by putting down others!?

Am I asking too much by thinking that we as an LGBT community (and yes while I am working and living in India I count myself in that we!) can actually be supportive of each other, and nurture each other's strengths, an actually seek to learn from each other!?

Why must development always have to feel so freaking territorial!? Why must be "friends" with one group mean being enemies of another!?

And why the do I have to raise my voice for a group of grown-ups to fucking pay attention!? UGH!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Floods, Riots, and Bombings, Oh My!

I know that I have been neglectful of my lil'ole blog these days, but to be honest it really has been kinda crazy over here. In a span of 10 days I had to deal with monsoon floods, Shiv Sena fueled riots (with bus burnings and everything) and then bombings. So I hope you will cut me some slack. And to top it all of, I still have to work! What's a boy to do!?

What has been amazing to me has been the business as usual attitude that seems to permeate the city during these events. While the US has un-ending panic attacks over cesnas flying over the capitol building Mumbaikers just shrug, wipe the dust, help those in need, and get back to work. (Did you know the trains were back on that same night after the bombings.) People keep asking me if things have started to settle down here post-blasts. But you know what, the bombing and ensuing disorientation only lasted 7 hours. And everyone was back at work the next day.

Sonia Ghandi and the President came to Mumbai to pay their respects to the families of the victims, and the people didn't want them to come. They would just get in the way! (Oh, and by the way, the blasted areas were repaired within 24 hours, not a trace left).

I think the US need to pay attention to this sort of attitude, where you acknowledge events, but don't let them rule you. Hum, something to think about, eh?

BTW - The thirtieth anniversary of my birth is in exactly 1 week, panic attacks have commenced.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Lord Help me...

For the past two weeks getting internet access has been harder than finding a virgin at an all girls catholic school. Though I have finally moved into my happy new office space (yey!) getting things to work has been a painful ordeal (boo!). During the same time I have been trying to get internet connected at my house. The thought of being able to work from home and avoiding the traffic enticing me to shell out the installation charge and deposit. However, 2 weeks, 3 phone calls, and 4 'different people coming to my house' later. I have yet to have working internet at home (or at the office).

Currently I don't know who to blame (because of course it is someone's fault). I'm torned between blaming karmic forces torn asunder by the monsoon or the fact that all of the good engineers have left India and all we are left with are the drags which did not seem good enough to get a job abroad. Either or it's the same. I still don't have reliable net access. But I keep getting promised that it will be up and running soon. Sigh!

Monday, June 19, 2006

On Traveling

As most of you know I have done a fair bit of jet-setting my young'ish age. And I can say that India by far is the most patience trying place in the world when it comes to trying to get around. Be it bus, taxi, rickshaw, train, plane or automobile (unless its your personal car). Traveling in India is test of endurance.

Granted the maxim "you get what you pay for" holds more truth in this country than in others, but the headaches are from a systemic level.

Case in point, I went to Kolkata this weekend to finish getting the rest of my things so I can finally finish settling into my new life here in Mumbai, and the airport was utter chaos. From the check-in (for having been colonized by the British for 200 hundred years you would think the concept of orderly queuing would have seeped in), to the stampede at the security check (I've seen brawlers be more civilized), to getting on the plane (apparently Indian believe that if you don't hurry on board the plane will leave without you), to getting off (along the same line of though as previously if you don't hurry off the plane it will take off with you still in it). And I still had to come back!

I love going new places or revisiting familiar ones, but I just really hate the getting there. Maybe as I age (and get more impatient) I realize that the journey IS NOT as important as the destination. The journey is the trial that makes you worthy of the destination.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

A matter of perspective

It is fascinating to me the assumptions that we make sometimes. I agree that we all base our world view from our individual experiences, acculturation, positions of power and privilege, etc. But it still strikes me when I hear/see evidence that goes against, my pre-conceived notions.

I admit that I am superficial, as a matter of fact, I pride myself in it, because I know that my particular level of superficiality is benign (I don’t starve myself to fit into a body concept, I don’t openly discriminate against ugly people, I don’t make fun of people to their face when they don’t know how to dress).

That being said, I admit that I did find it extremely fascinating that the burqa was not mentioned at all by Muslim women during interviews on the needs of the female Muslim community.

Western believed theoretical symbol of oppression aside, I just honestly do not know how they survive underneath those portable ovens. I can barely manage in my light linens in physically pains me (I don think I sweat more) when I see these women walk around as if nothing was wrong covered head to toe in black – most of the time synthetic – OVER their clothes. Maybe Muslim women are just built stronger.

I agree that there are other more important priorities in the empowerment of Muslim women, but do you not think you would be more comfortable in that voting booth in some shorts and a tank top?

MUSLIM WOMEN DON'T SEE THEMSELVES AS OPPRESSED
New York Times reported in Push Journal
08/Jun/06
SOURCE: Push Journal,
08/Jun/06

Political Equality is Seen to be More Important Than Gender Equality

Muslim women do not think they are conditioned to accept second-class status or view themselves as oppressed, according to a survey released by the Gallup Organization.

The survey, "What Women Want: Listening to the Voices of Muslim Women," is a part of The Gallup World Poll, which plans to survey 95 percent of the earth's population over the next century.

According to the poll, conducted in 2005, a strong majority of Muslim women believe they should have the right to vote without influence, work outside the home and serve in the highest levels of government. In more than 8,000 face-to-face interviews conducted in eight predominantly Muslim countries, the survey found that many women in the Muslim world did not see sex issues as a priority because other issues were more pressing.

When asked what they resented most about their own societies, a majority of Muslim women polled said that a lack of unity among Muslim nations, violent extremism, and political and economic corruption were their main concerns.

The hijab, or head scarf, and burqa, the garment covering face and body, seen by some Westerners as tools of oppression, were never mentioned in the women's answers to the open-ended questions, the poll analysts said.

Concerning women's rights in general, most Muslim women polled associated sex equality with the West. 78 per cent of Moroccan women, 71 per cent of Lebanese women, and 48 per cent of Saudi women polled linked legal equality with the West. Still, a majority of the respondents did not think adopting Western values would help the Muslim world's political and economic progress.

The most frequent response to the question, "What do you admire least about the West?" was the general perception of moral decay, promiscuity and pornography that pollsters called the "Hollywood image" that is regarded as degrading to women.

At 97 per cent, Lebanon had the highest percentage of women who said they believed they should be able to make their own voting decisions, followed by Egypt and Morocco at 95 per cent. Pakistan was lowest, at 68 per cent.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

On male bondage, err, bonding

I wanted to write something on the level on non-sexual same sex intimacy that goes on in India for a while, but never seemed to get around to it. But, Sonia’s blog entry on scared straight boys got me motivated enough to write a few words.

One of the things that I enjoy the most in India is the bonding that happens within men (and I assume women). You see men holding hands, leaning against each other; I have even seen them resting their heads on each other’s laps and stroke their hair. And though I do not deny that sex does occur between heterosexually self-identified men, for the most part these interactions are not sexual in nature. It is just a normal part of male bonding.

I attribute this to the fact that in a country with a high level of gender segregation, men and woman socialize separately (for the most part). When you predominately socialize among same-sex groups, but still have the innate need for physical intimacy, for human touch, you lean on your friends to satisfy that need. What is wrong after all with men hugging!?

The sad part is when you notice a socio-economic divide on this behavior. The upper classes with a higher sense of western sensibilities seem to be more “homophobic” towards same-sex physical closeness. “That is SO gay after all!”

I do think that something the west can learn from this is that it is ok for men to touch. Holding hands, leaning on each other, hugging, does not a fag make. If it gives you wood, and you have the sudden urge to get down on your knees and service your buddy, THEN you should start to wonder if you may be displaying homosexual tendencies.

There is so much more than can be said on this, but I will leave that for a nice conversation while we play with each other’s hair.

Friday, June 02, 2006

A few weeks back my friend David stopped in Mumbai on his way back to Mexico after working in India for the past year. On his last day we did a bit of meandering through downtown Mumbai as a partign glimpse of India. It was sad, but I must say I enjoyed speaking Spanish the whole time, something I have't done in eons. And it was fun getting staired at for blatantly and loudly speaking a foreign tongue on mumbai's streets :-)






Eating Pan, totally Indian, totally gross.










Thursday, June 01, 2006

On the Weather

Hallelujah I have survived the heat!! Now we shall see if I make it through the monsoon.

It has been raining in Mumbai for the past 48 hours, but apparently this is not the monsoon, rather it is the pre-monsoon showers. What the f%$k!? Though everything is gross and mucky and traffic is backed-up and streets are semi flooded the one good thing I have noticed so far is that it is NOT insufferably hot. Yippee! Dampness aside, it is actually quite pleasant. Who would have thought it!?

I must say though, the peak of the heat (Apr-May) was physically painful, soul draining, and down right nasty. I cannot believe people put up with it year-after-year it really is mutilating. And I had the extreme privilege (sarcasm duly noted I hope) to experience summer heat in four different cities. Ahmedabad was the worst for shear high temperature, but Kolkata was the most disgusting with its lovely mix of high humidity and high temperatures (and my god is it hard to look cute in 40 C and 80% humidity). Thankfully Mumbai was not awful. It was bad, but almost tolerable. I guess there is something to be said for being a coastal town, granted I am no where near any beach like area.

I must say thought, what made all of summer worth it was the mangoes. Yum! Indians do go crazy for their mangoes. With varies species of mangoes touted over others (I honestly lost track of which is supposed to be the King of mangoes). But it is crazy in how many places mangoes appear. Mango Pickle, mango chutney, mango drinks, mango ice cream, mango soy milk! And points go to the non-Indians who knew that paisley prints are an old Indian patterned based on a mango. Does anyone out there know if there is a mango festival that I am missing with a crown mango princess? If there is not one, I think we need to start one. I am thinking food stalls selling deep-fried-mango-on-a-stick.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Internet Fun or a Waste of Time

I have friends that are addicted to net quizzes. Some are entertaing some are asinine, but in the end they are just mindless dribble meant to make you waste the few precious moments that we have left in our too short existence.

That being I said, I admit that I partake in them also (I never said that I wasn't a hypocrite). What amuses me about them is the simple, obvious "truths" which they spout.

So in good fun, I present to you the latest two cyber-mystical insights into my psyche. Enjoy.

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Sensual - You are not particularly shy when it comes to your sexuality. You know what you like and do not feel inhibited.
Your date match profile:

Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Big-Hearted
3. Sensual
4. Stylish
5. Romantic
6. Adventurous
7. Wealthy/Ambitious
8. Traditional
9. Shy
10. Intellectual
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Outgoing
2. Practical
3. Funny
4. Sensual
5. Big-Hearted
6. Athletic
7. Adventurous
8. Traditional
9. Stylish
10. Romantic

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

I do think this dating profile was pretty accurate. However, I'm quite perplexed as to what I could have said to lead the databasse to thnk that I was wealthy/ambitious or SHY!!







Which ArchAngel are you most like?




Rafael. You're most like the ArchAngel of Healing. You want people to shape up, and you nag. But you mean well, and you're well loved despite it. Or because of it. You bring the donuts even as you tell people to eat more veggies.
Take this quiz!








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I do think naggging should be the background noise of every relationship.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Back Blog: Gujarat Sightseeing

Not one to pass up the opportunity to explore a new place with a local. My AIF peeps and I got Chirag to show us around Ahmedabad a bit. In all honesty there ain't much there (sorry Aditi and Cheryl, but you know its true). Insuferable heat aside Jen, Sejal and I had a good time.


The roof of Chirag's House

Ruins of Lothal
Discovered in 1957, it has been proved to be the ruins of a full fledged settlement of the Harappan era dating as far back as the 2nd millennium B.C.








Some Random Temple




Gujju Thali: A formal Affair




Adalaj Vav
Adalaj Vav is situated 18 kms. north of Ahmedabad in Gandhinagar district. Built in 1499 A.D. by Queen Rudabai, this step well at the village Adalaj is a fine example of magnificent architectural form, unique to Northwestern India.

The step well or Vav as it is locally called is intricately carved and is several stories in depth. The designs on its walls and pillars include, leaves, flowers, birds, fish and other breathtaking ornamental designs.

A unique characteristic of step wells was that they not only conserved water but were also cool chambers where one could rest during hot summer months. In the olden days, these step wells used to be frequented by travellers and caravans as stopovers along their trade routes.













Parting Shot: Good times were had