Photograpic evidence...

...of how hard I work.

This are snaps from the big Asian Gay Leadership Consultation I attended in Delhi in September. I'm not captioning them because trying to explain them would take too long :-P

Societal commentaries

I love satire. The use of humor to comment on the more fucked-up aspects of human nature is of particular delight to me. Which is why I'm a big fan of comic strips.

Today there were 2 particular gems thanks to Get Fuzzy and Non Sequitur.

'Nuf Said.

Concept vs. Reality

My father always said that I have a tendency to be too idealistic, even in the face of contradictory data. It really became apparent during my university days, when I would jump from course to course, from major to major, because I just KNEW the next one would be different. It would be THE one that would click, when in reality they were all crap in the end.

So is the story of my life, I theoretically like things such as nature, but then I get there and go “What the fuck!?” I theoretically like helping people, as long as they stay away and don’t touch me. Why do people in need always smell so funky?

So what is one to do, blame naiveté, blame idealism, blame an inability to learn from the past? Still I go on. What I need to see is what is my next bout of 'concept vs. reality' about. My time in India has corrected me in a couple things: 1) I like the concept of living in a developing country, as long as I have the money to get the western comforts to which I have grown accustomed too (god I miss having money!); 2) I like the concept of travel and being new places, as long as I take my friends along (being alone in a new place sucks); 3) I like the concept of having help, as long as they do things exactly how I want them (incredibly hard when one doesn’t speak the language).

Now that I have hit 30 (with a hard cricket bat) I need to figure out if I like the theory of a relationship or the practice of actually having someone encroach on your space day in and day out, always in your way. And what about children? The theory of caring and nurturing for a new life vs. the reality of having the life and money sucked out of you by an ungrateful parasite. Decisions, decisions.

Photographic Miscellanea

So here are some pics I've been meaning to post for ages, but have been too lazy. They have no rhyme or reason, but at least it keeps you in the loop!

From My Kolkata trip in June:

Dev and Nil's office (pic courtesy of Margarette)

Sohini and I cutting a rug (pic courtesy of Margarette)

Partial Cal crew (Andy, Nil, Lilly, Margarette, Sohini, Dev)
(pic courtesy of Margarette)

Random Moments:

Andy Lounging (and SMSing incessantly) (pic courtesy of Hubert)

Ankur - my saviour in Mumbai

Andy - uhm, no comment

Fun with a phone camera:

La ferme dorée de cochon en Kolkata

Watercolor Ankur Stare

Veggie Vendor on the Train on his Cell

Happy Burger

Workshop full of Fags...and a couple of trannies

Pensive or bored?

My Melancholic Moment

Wateva!

The Veggie Monster Attacks -Go Ryan Go!

You have to feel bad for the guy who drives the small carcass van

My Absolute Favorite Pic of Bombay:

PMS: Not just for those with ovaries

Roughly around the second week of every month I get all hormony. I get moody, despondent and worse of all introspective. The older I get, and the more baggage I accumulate, the worse these times feel. And the past couple of months they have been down right cruddy (thankfully November was ameliorated by the timely intervention of a loving and caring dear friend – even if he’s a self-hating aussie trying to pass for a brit).

Does being older mean being more bitter/jaded/cynical?

Funny thing is that the other 3 weeks of the month, I’m pretty much ok. Well, less bitchy anyway…sort of.

But what I want to know is why across the board (i.e., most countries) men being emotional is bad? Why is it a sign of weakness to admit that we are vulnerable, as opposed to a sign of strength that we are comfortable with our own humanity?

I think the pollution in Bombay is getting to me. I most stop inhaling all this carbon monoxide before I start writing a self-help book, because I’m not changing my name to Deepak Chopra!

How do you know if you are having a nervous breakdown?

This is a theoretical question, but one that I am intrigued about. Do you really know if you are going crazy? Mental Health has never been my family’s strength and I’m left wondering how do I know if I am being overwhelmed by the tides of reality?

Terry stated a month or two ago that it sounds like I’m getting burnt out. I didn’t reply to her comment because I honestly don’t know.

I enjoy my work, I am constantly reminded that I am loved, but…Does everyone find happiness as elusive as I do? Or do I just don’t know how to be happy with what I got?

On a professional side, I seem to be doing ok (well not financially, but who uses that as an indicator of success). I’m respected, sometimes even looked up to, but I always ask: Why!? I really don’t do anything. I talk the big talk, I throw out jargon like it was confetti, and I read the titles and italics of reports and use that to make thesis statements. But in the end what do I contribute?

On the personal side, I have family and friends that truly love me, care for me, and support me unconditionally, but why am I always running away from them? Why do I sabotage every relationship I’ve ever been in? Ricky once said that I was not meant to settle down. Maybe he’s right, was I a nomad in a previous life trying to reclaim the open land in a globalized world?

Honestly, I just think I’m PMSing right now. Too much introspection resulting from a hormonal roller-coaster. I have been feeling kind of dark lately, not the usual peppy Andy – which in moments of self pity I wonder which one is the true me?

Ok enough doom and gloom, it’s unbecoming of a bullshit artist.

This day forth I am promising to make an effort to blog more regularly again. Maybe some more frequent mental haemorrhaging into cyber-space will prevent these creepy thoughts from re-surfacing.

Lazy

Pronunciation: 'lA-zE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): la·zi·er; -est
Etymology: perhaps from Middle Low German lasich feeble; akin to Middle High German erleswen to become weak
1 a : disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous b : encouraging inactivity or indolence lazy summer day>
2 : moving slowly : SLUGGISH
3 : DROOPY, LAX
4 : Someone with increased intellectual capacity who is smart enough to realise that the education system (and most of life) is fucked and ends up failing or fucking up because everything in reality is too boring

I'll take all of the above, with a heavy lean on number 4.

So in my constant battle with motivation many things have fallen by the wayside. Starting with dusting (or cleaning in general - thank god for my laundry guy or I would have nothing to wear) and last but not least my little ole blog. That sad part is I do like blogging (unlike cleaning which I detest) so I really don't have a viable excuse. Yes, I've been traveling (in October alone I was in Delhi, Chennai, and Cambodia) and I had a mild bronchial infection - but are they really excuses!?

Anyway, it's a new month and I want to get back into the swing of it. So, let's get back on track.

And for the record, I LOVE COMMENTS, the more you comment the more I write :-) Deal?

Cheerio and all that jazz.

Q: How do you know you have adapted to your new country?

A: When you are no longer addicted to Pepto-Bismol!

Warning: The following post contains graphic commentary of a gastro-intestinal nature.

The meeting in Delhi had a significant number of foreigners (and by foreigners I mean white people) who had come to India representing their particular piece of the Asia/Pacific Region pie (and interestingly enough there where more white people coming from Thailand than there were Thais, what is that about!?).

But what warmed my cockles in a metaphorical sense were the Ozzies, New Zealanders, and North Americans (because the North American whites have to get their hands into everything), and Brits. The reason for this euphoria wasn't so much based on a sexual desire (though some were quite delicious) but more to do that all of them succumb to one degree or another to the infamous Delhi Belly!

Not that I take particular pleasure in the misery of others (though all who know schadenfreude, but what do they know!), but it did feel good to realize that I can't remember the last time I had a stomach upset. God knows that the first six months I practically lived in the bathroom. And I had actually ran out, much to my dread, of Pepto-Bismol. That is until Chirag's timely arrival in April with a case. But as I inventoried this weekend, I have actually used barely any of it. I have given some to visiting friends, but have really not had to take any in a long time.

Could my intestines actually have adapted to the bacterial flora of India!? Did I survive a year in India without dysentery, cholera, or any other unpleasant but effective method to loose weight?
Do I try not to drink the tap water, I have on occasions and I haven't even gotten gas out of it. How am I supposed to bitch about this country, if my body now thinks its a local!?

Now I need to find a new way to loose weight, having Baskin Robbins delivery on my speed dial and no convenient way to get rid of the excess fat is not a cute combination.

Of Gays and Straights

Chapter XVI (Offences affecting the Human Body), Article 377 (Unnatural offences) of the Indian Penal Code 377 states:

"Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine." (Explanation- Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section.)

Interesting to me is that what is "against the order of nature" is really not explained. I assume that it refers to non-procreative sex. So no blowjobs or butt sex. Which is really not the sole domain of the homosexual. However in India it is used as a tool to marginalized men who have sex with men (funnily enough women who have sex with women are really not thought of when it comes to 377, I guess most people assume that what lesbians do is not "real sex," but I digress).

In India groups have been fighting to get 377 of the books for years. In all honesty, the battles really have not really gone anywhere, but this year there have been a couple of great wins for the against-377 camp. Namely:

(this is the National AIDS Control Organization telling government that 377 is in the way of good public health against HIV) - NACO readies action plan to help gays
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1945472.cms

(this one has 100 of India's best and brightest talk against 377) - Backing gay rights
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1998671.cms

But the question still remains, "even if the law is repealed, will society at large change their opinion about sexual minorities?" Let's be honest here, the US the alleged bastion of democracy of the world, still oppresses same-sex behavior.

Yes, the movement has to start somewhere, I don't argue that. But after working with sexual minorities in India for the past 6 months, I realized that for most of the vocal ones what they want is to be apart from society. Asking for things like separate hospital wards and separate public restrooms for transgenders. I mean come on. What happened to not asking for special rights, but equal rights!?

India's gender dichotomy and lack of a cohesive sexual minority community will definitely slow down the movement towards mainstreaming.

Part of the reason I bring all of this now is that India is hosting an Asia and the Pacific region consultation on Men who have Sex with Men and HIV. Entitled "Risk and Responsibilities" the consultation hopes to address:

"the increased risks that men who have sex with men face through sexual practices and cultural vulnerabilities, and the risks of not addressing these with adequate, appropriate and sufficiently funded HIV prevention, treatment care and support interventions. This also flags the responsibilities of men for protecting themselves and their partners, and the responsibilities of governments, donors and other stakeholders in ensuring resources and environments that enable good-quality HIV programmes and services for prevention, treatment, care and support."

Not bad for a country where same-sex sexual activity is illegal.

So I will be in Delhi for the next 5 days, talking about what needs to be done and how can countries collaborate and streamline their initiatives. Mainly I'm going for the entertainment value of it. 300 fags, queens, and trannies from all over Asia coming together to "dialogue" with government representatives and donor agencies. Should be fun!

Birthday Calculator

My friend Manu forwarded me the following link (http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp). It's pretty interesting. I'm fascinated knowing about all the things that were going on the year I was born. I had pretty much assumed all life started after I came along.

27 July 1976

Your date of conception was on or about 4 November 1975 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Leo.
Your Life path number is 3.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 2, 5 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 7, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2442986.5.
The golden number for 1976 is 1.
The epact number for 1976 is -1.
The year 1976 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/31/1976 and ending 2/17/1977.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Salmon; your plant is Raspberry.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 29 Tammuz 5736.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1976.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 25 April 1976.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 3 March 1976.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 6 June 1976.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 13 June 1976.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 25 September 1976.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 15 April 1976.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 2 March 1976.

As of 9/19/2006 8:10:19 AM EDT
You are 30 years old.
You are 362 months old.
You are 1,573 weeks old.
You are 11,011 days old.
You are 264,272 hours old.
You are 15,856,330 minutes old.
You are 951,379,819 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Alex Rodriguez (1975)	Triple H (1969)	Maureen McGovern (1949)
Peggy Fleming (1948)	Betty Thomas (1947)	Bobbie Gentry (1944)
Jerry Van Dyke (1931)	Norman Lear (1922)

Top songs of 1976

Tonight's the Night by Rod Stewart	Silly Love Songs by Wings
Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John & Kiki Dee	Disco Lady by Johnnie Taylor
Play The Funky Music by Wild Cherry	December, 1963 (Oh What a Night) by Four Seasons
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon	Kiss and Say Goodbye by Manhattans
If You Leave Me Now by Chicago	Love Hangover by Diana Ross

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.30958904109589 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

There are 311 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 31 candles.

Those 31 candles produce 31 BTUs,
or 7,812 calories of heat (that's only 7.8120 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.54 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1976 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.
In 1976 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1976 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1976 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1976 the population of Australia was approximately 14,110,107.
In 1976 there were approximately 227,810 births in Australia.
In 1976 in Australia there were approximately 109,973 marriages and 63,230 divorces.
In 1976 in Australia there were approximately 112,662 deaths.


Your birthstone is Ruby

The Mystical properties of Ruby

Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Carnelian

Your birth tree is

Cypress, the Faithfulness

Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy,content,optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,unruly, pedantic and careless.

There are 97 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 110 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was new.

Copyright © 2006 Paul R. Sadowski (http://www.paulsadowski.com)

Ganpati

Indians LOVE festivals, holidays, or any excuse to drink, party and be merry. And from what I've gathered all such occasions begin with a religious undertone. After all, who is going to oppose a celebration in the name of religion? Smart thinking.

The Ganesh Chaturthi or Ganesh Festival, is an exercise in organized chaos. Celebrated over 11 days, it seems to be the event of the year in Mumbai and one that brings out the spiritual side of even the most jaded. Kinda like Christmas but without the presents. Similar to Durga Puja in Kolkata there were temporary temples (known as pandals) all over the city which housed the idols for display before between taken on the procession for immersion. I was feeling lazy and didn't take my camera along so I have no photographic evidence of them. BUT, I did take some snaps of the procession down to ChowpattyBeach.

The sea of people was more monumental than the sea itself, which welcomed the idols.

Honestly, I think I liked Durga Puja better. Granted my DP experience was more organized. But in Kolkata there was definitely a more "community celebratory feel" to the whole thing. Peeps in Mumbai said that Ganpati is more of a family celebration.

Though one does see the competitive spirit that emerges out of who has the biggest better pandal (it always comes down to that doesn't it), the lines that form out of some of them are counter productive. I'm sorry but I'm not going to stand in line for 2-3 hours to look at a big paper maiche and plaster elephant, no matter how pretty and significant it is.

Anywho, these are a few pics of the immersion at night (it was WAY too hot to go during the day), that is before the police told me to stop taking pictures because apparently there was a bomb scare. Granted why would a terrorist be taking pictures of the end of an event if he was hoping to blow it up, is beyond me, but who am I to question these things.

Things about India I hate (or just plain annoy the fuck out of me)

Living in a developing country definitely has its fair share of crap that one has to get used to. Not to say that developed countries are perfect, but I think the nature of the things that one has to put up with is different.

The items in the following list are by no means unique to India, but since this is where I have been living for the past 12 months their context is all Indian. And it does wear you down.

1) The Traffic - allegedly there are some sort of traffic regulations that drivers are meant to follow. Supposedly there is some sort of licensing procedure for prospective drivers. Theoretically in India one drives on the left-side of the lane. IN PRACTICE HOWEVER, none of these things hold true. The roads in India are a chaotic mess of blaring horns (there has to be some sort of genetic disorder which forces Indians to constantly pound on the horn for no good reason, or maybe its some sort of advanced Morse code where drivers have conversations with each other. Who knows, but it is fucking annoying), meandering animals, auto-rickshaws, decrepit careening buses, pedestrians, cars, carts, bicycles, and trucks all vying for the same piece of space at the same time, coming from all directions. Fun! It's like a live version of Frogger.

2) The Rude People - I do understand that rules of etiquette vary country-by-country. However, name one place where it is consider polite to push and shove, and not even attempt to form some sort of orderly system to get serviced or acknowledged. So while I just accept it out of fear of mob rule in my head I scream: "Yes motherfucker I was standing here before you, No you cannot place your order before me, or after me for that matter that lady there is next". "Bitch, you see this group of people here, they ALL arrived before you, go to the end. No one cares that you are late, next time leave earlier". "Yo asshole, I would have moved if you had asked nicely, push me one more time and I'll go ghetto on your ass". Ugh!!

3) The Corruption - This may not be Nigeria (which by all accounts is the most corrupt nation in the world), but the corruption here is pretty ridiculous. I'm not too familiar with the issues at the higher levels, but I have had to deal with police trying to get bribes (and succeeding a couple of times), having to pay an extra Rs.500 to get a package sent to me because "We don't acknowledge a US passport as valid proof of ID." Give me a fucking break!

3) The spitting, pissing, shitting in public - Either Indians are the phlegmiest people in existence or they have way too many upper respiratory problems, compound that with the incessant chewing of betel nut , paan, and/or tobacco, and you have a nicely splotched vista. Most public (and private) spaces have signs forbidding spitting, yet you find tell-tale red splotches everywhere (even the courthouse - I've witnessed one too many lawyers expectorating their juicy remains unto the walls.) We also have the men (and occasional women) who seems to be unable to wait till they got home or to their next place of business to relieve themselves. In case no one has had the distinct pleasure of smelling festering urine cooking in the afternoon heat, well you don't know what you are missing. And lastly, there is poo everywhere! Major urban areas, and particularly Mumbai, has housing shortages. Which creates this whole group of people known as "the pavement dwellers" which the US would classify as homeless. Well being homeless means you have no bathroom and living in an urban area means that there are no fields. And human nature being what it is. Well you get the point.

4) The obsession with skin color (namely fair) - This seems to be a global phenomenon. Most people want to be lighter than the next guy, except if you a re white which then you try to be tan, but not too tan because you don't want to be dark either. India has a whole industry around whitening products, "Fair and Lovely" for women and "Fair and Handsome" for men and two of the major brands. The advertising for these are absurd bordering on the insulting. It grates on my nerves when people say, "you can't be from the Caribbean you are too fair". From skin lightning creams, lotions, soaps, foundations, make-ups, you name it. Anything to achieve that apparently perfect concept of beauty - White!

5) The unprofessionalism of the NGO sector (and at times government) - For the record, I have learned since moving to India that expecting meetings to start and end on time, to have meeting agendas, to expect people to pay attention, turn their mobiles off, stay focused on the issue, keep records, document findings, follow policies and procedures, et al is a western concept and I will have to be patient for people here to adopt these practices. Fucking Bullshit! Sounds business practices are sound business practices. Its not asking too much for people to follow fucking deadlines, especially when money is involved and particularly when I'm paying you. You want to know what's hindering development in India the lack of ownership and accountability that is permeating the system.

Sigh! I guess that's enough for now, I should leave some more to have something to bitch about when I leave India.

Things I like (or learned to like), sometimes even love, about India

On Wednesday, August 31, 2005 Air India Flight 112 brought me to Indira Gandhi International Airport. I landed here with the intent of living in India for a year. And that I did. And I'm actually still here.

Tomorrow I'll focus on the negative side, but for today, let's talk about the good.

India has many things to offer for all tastes, and if you don't think things too seriously it can give you quite a rewarding adventure.

Now to the list!

1) The landscape. India is a large geographically diverse country with mountains, deserts, beaches, hills, plains, and anything else you may want. India affords you a breath-taking scenery and many times unspoiled by modern development.

2) The food. Though I readily admit that "Indian" cuisine is not my top favorite. Some of the regional dishes are absolutely phenomenal. The seafood in West Bengal or Konkan food is divine.

3) The textiles. The artistry of woven fabrics is amazing. The colors and textures that are created attest to the rich craft heritage. Some of the sari work is incredible.

4) The history. India is old. Really old.

5) The people. The passion, friendliness, warmth, and hospitality is a deeply rooted cultural trait. (be warned that you will find "the people" in the negative list also).

6) The extremes. At times it feels that this is a country of absolutes. Absolute poverty vs. Absolute wealth. Absolute right vs. Absolute wrong. Black vs. White. Good vs. Evil. Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera. No room for gray areas. Extreme development in the same block as abject poverty. It's quite fascinating.

Hum, I know there is more, but how does one verbalize it?

Non-Sequitur

Pronunciation: 'nän-'se-kw&-t&r also -"tur
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, it does not follow
1 : an inference that does not follow from the premises; specifically : a fallacy resulting from a simple conversion of a universal affirmative proposition or from the transposition of a condition and its consequent
2 : a statement (as a response) that does not follow logically from or is not clearly related to anything previously said
3 : a really funny and clever comic strip.


EVERYONE BLOGS! It's a fad, it's a trend, it's the live memoirs of the information age. But sometimes, a lot of times, its filled with crap.

I blog because my friends and family are spreadthroughoutt the globe, and I use this medium to share my personal experiences, my exasperations, and my joyous moments. Kinda like meeting the girls for coffee, only the cafe is a data-stream spreading through the planet.

Though I have not been faced with blogger's block yet, I have found myself with too many things to share, and too little time to do it adequately. So what I end up doing is throwing some random pieces of stream of consciousness into, at times, meaningless phrases. In hopes that the people thatIi am speaking to can decipher my message.

I most say though, as cathartic as it may be to be able to vent out my feelings in a public pseudo-journal I miss the interaction and conversations that you get with actually speaking face-to-face.

What is the lesser of the evil shrinking the global village or disconnectingourselvess from some of the basic tenets ofhumana nature - companionship, physical contact. Can an online community provide the same support systems as a tangible one?

TeeHee!

Pearls Before Swine is witty, sarcastic, and rudely funny...it reminds me a lot of me. As a former resident of Calcutta I feel obliged to share this Sunday's strip.



Please join me in a round of giggling.

I must say though, that cows in Indian overall, not just Cal, are pretty damn cocky. I think they know no one is going to do anything to them, so they get away with doing what ever they want.

A year in the Third World

As I sit in the mall tapping in to the free Wi-Fi enjoying my chocolate croissant and skim latte I can't help but wander how have I been able to survive in a developing country away from all the comforts I had grown accustomed too.

Damn I have been in India for a year! (just shy of two weeks but close enough).

The past 11 and a half months (minus 10 days in Hong Kong) have definitely had its share of trials and tribulations. There quite a few things I hate about this country (every country has something) and quite a few that I love, and countless others that I really miss from back home.

But to me the most important thing is that I have actually done it. I have been able to step out of my protective bubble and thrown myself into a new environment and survived. Kudos for Andy!

The French emigre, Claude Arpi, wrote an article titled, "10 things I hate about India" after living in the country for over 30 years. Like him, I feel there are way more good things than bad. Unlike him, most of my complaintsts are superficial.

My friend Lauren (who was part of the same fellowship that brought me here initially - and a NY Italian) had this to say on her last day in the country:

"Leaving India tomorrow and although I love India it is really time to just get the heck out of here. I am tired of the crowds and the traffic, tired
of hitting my head on everything b/c its all made for short people, tired of malnourished children or people with 2 or more serious deformities hovering all over the street asking for money, tired of being stared at by gross men, tired of yelling all day every day and just plain tired.

There are some things I really love about this country though. Here is my top 10 (well, 11) list:

11) You can bribe your way out of anything.

10) If you are here long enough you make sounds with you butt that you never thought possible.

9) Mob rule wins every time. There are so many freaking people that if you get even a small percentage of the population to agree with you that's a damn lot of people.

8) South Bombay socialites excluded, people are not afraid to eat.

7) In a city like Bangalore with 6 million people there are still cows meandering in the middle of the road.

6) Cleaning toilets, sweeping floors, ironing clothes and swabbing floors are seen as work- real work, like it should be. And you usually pay someone to do it.

5) Salman Khan, a famous Bollywood actor, ran over a few homeless people and walked away scot-free, but then shot an endangered animal and went straight to the slammer.

4) The world is your toilet and nature is your piss pot.

3) Someone who dances like a back-up dancer from a 1985 Michael Jackson video can be a top hip-hop dance teacher in Bombay with over 50 loyal students.

2) Although India men scope foreign women like recently released convicts from Rikers, you have to laugh at them because an overwhelming majority have uni brows, belts with 2 feet of leather hanging off, pants hiked up to their belly button, and shirts with color combinations that can't even be explained by color blindness. Trust me, I've met men in middle of nowhere in Nepal with more fashion
sense.

1) The leader of the largest political party in India, who runs and
controls a lot of the shit going on around here, Ms. Sonia Gandhi, is
I-T-A-L-I-A-N."

In the end, there is not much one can do except "you take the good, you take the bad and there you have, the facts of life!"

Why the fuck do I bother!?

I think everyone has one of those days (or weeks, or lifetime) where they wonder why the hell they picked their profession, "what was I thinking when I thought working in {INSERT CHOSEN CAREER} would be fun?". The following video gives me my doubt for the day.



I have been working in HIV Public Health for 10 years this summer (started way back when with TCRS and the FL HIV Hotline) and sometimes I wonder what has it really made any difference. God knows I didn't go into it for the money, but I don't want to think I wasted a decade of my life either. Yes I am a minuscule (microscopic really) piece of the the overall Global HIV Industry, but still...

I have had one or two heart-warming moments. Most notably my work in Cambodia with the Commune Council of Pursat. In December 2004 they commemorated for the first time World AIDS Day, and held village level education, awareness, and mobilization events, mixed with fun, food, music, and dance. This was a direct result of work that I was involved in. This is the kind of stuff that makes you feel good about yourself.

But then you hear things like what happened to my friend Pat down in Florida. Last year she told me the story of a 16-18 year old kid hitch-hiking down US 1. He had made it as far as Port St Lucie, FL (just north of Palm Beach)all the way from Georgia. The young lad was on his way to South Beach, Miami to get HIV.

That was his plan - To Get HIV.

He wanted HIV because he had a chat friend who had told him how he was positive and he was being given: food, rent, and medical treatment. All for free. "And of course now with these great new drugs,you can lead a normal healthy life and not have to worry." UGH!!!!

If this the kind of mentality that we have to deal with after 20 years of fighting the epidemic. Why the fuck to we bother!? I say from now on its survival of the fittest. If stupid punk ass kids like him, don't want to listen. If they refuse to pay attention and choose to play Russian roulette with their life, who are we to stop them.

On an interesting sidenote:

OBESITY EPIDEMIC AS SOUTH AFRICANS 'PROVE' THEY ARE NOT LIVING WITH AIDS

Obesity Seen as a Sign of Prosperity

South Africa's AIDS epidemic is driving a new health crisis in the country as women, fearful of appearing to be HIV positive, are becoming obese in record numbers.

SOURCE: The Independent, 14/Aug/06
Full text: http://news.independent.co.uk/world/africa/article1219018.ece

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Sometimes you just can't win.

It's still freaking raining!

Ok, so monsoon was cute and all when it started. The temperature dropped, the pollution dropped, yes it was mucky but it was a small price to pay. But you know what, enough is enough! Ugh!

I'm not a wimp when it comes to rain. I'm used to 6 month long hurricane seasons. But at least we get dried once in a while. I've gone through two umbrellas already and it doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon.

And the worse part is that some of my clothes are getting this oh-so-not-cute mold thing growing on them. Luckily its on only a few pieces, but still! What the fuck is that about!?

I miss the sun :-(

An epidemic of jock itch

Its not bad enough that pissing in public seems to be the national past time of the average Indian male, but I swear that there is more crotch grabbing, scratching, re-adjusting, and just plain holding on to than it is necessary.

As a penis-wielding male, I do understand the need for the occasional adjustment or light scratch, but I try to do this in some subtle way (adjusting your walk for example). I fail to comprehend, however, why 60% of the men that I pass on my way to work (yes I counted, I wanted to be scientific) had their hand on their package.

Either a) the Indian lack of open honest communication about anything sexual combined with 85% of men who are not circumcised has produced a nasty case of dick rot due to poor hygiene; or b) Indian men are insecure about their manhood and are afraid that they dropped it somewhere on their way to wherever and want to make sure it is still there.

What is one to do? The polls are open, solutions await...