Birds of a feather

So today I finally saw something that I did not think I would ever see. A pigeon nest! I know they roost everywhere, because pigeons are like roaches with feathers (hate the nasty vermin), but up to know no matter how hard I looked I had never actually seen a pigeon nest with babies.

I was starting to think that they were actually cloned in a lab in order to spread disease and poop. Or maybe they reproduced through mitosis. But now I can actually say that they pigeon chicks are ugly!

For the most part in nature animal babies are cute regardless of how ugly the adult is (except in the human species, which has an uncanny ability to be hit or miss with attractive children – I always feel bad for the parents of ugly children. Do you think they notice it when they have bred Quasimodos?). But now that I have seen baby chickens…damn they were really gross. Hum, who would have thought?

At least it made me smile. It is something else I can scratch of my “Been There, Done That!” list.

Photograpic evidence...

...of how hard I work.

This are snaps from the big Asian Gay Leadership Consultation I attended in Delhi in September. I'm not captioning them because trying to explain them would take too long :-P

Societal commentaries

I love satire. The use of humor to comment on the more fucked-up aspects of human nature is of particular delight to me. Which is why I'm a big fan of comic strips.

Today there were 2 particular gems thanks to Get Fuzzy and Non Sequitur.

'Nuf Said.

Concept vs. Reality

My father always said that I have a tendency to be too idealistic, even in the face of contradictory data. It really became apparent during my university days, when I would jump from course to course, from major to major, because I just KNEW the next one would be different. It would be THE one that would click, when in reality they were all crap in the end.

So is the story of my life, I theoretically like things such as nature, but then I get there and go “What the fuck!?” I theoretically like helping people, as long as they stay away and don’t touch me. Why do people in need always smell so funky?

So what is one to do, blame naiveté, blame idealism, blame an inability to learn from the past? Still I go on. What I need to see is what is my next bout of 'concept vs. reality' about. My time in India has corrected me in a couple things: 1) I like the concept of living in a developing country, as long as I have the money to get the western comforts to which I have grown accustomed too (god I miss having money!); 2) I like the concept of travel and being new places, as long as I take my friends along (being alone in a new place sucks); 3) I like the concept of having help, as long as they do things exactly how I want them (incredibly hard when one doesn’t speak the language).

Now that I have hit 30 (with a hard cricket bat) I need to figure out if I like the theory of a relationship or the practice of actually having someone encroach on your space day in and day out, always in your way. And what about children? The theory of caring and nurturing for a new life vs. the reality of having the life and money sucked out of you by an ungrateful parasite. Decisions, decisions.

Photographic Miscellanea

So here are some pics I've been meaning to post for ages, but have been too lazy. They have no rhyme or reason, but at least it keeps you in the loop!

From My Kolkata trip in June:

Dev and Nil's office (pic courtesy of Margarette)

Sohini and I cutting a rug (pic courtesy of Margarette)

Partial Cal crew (Andy, Nil, Lilly, Margarette, Sohini, Dev)
(pic courtesy of Margarette)

Random Moments:

Andy Lounging (and SMSing incessantly) (pic courtesy of Hubert)

Ankur - my saviour in Mumbai

Andy - uhm, no comment

Fun with a phone camera:

La ferme dorée de cochon en Kolkata

Watercolor Ankur Stare

Veggie Vendor on the Train on his Cell

Happy Burger

Workshop full of Fags...and a couple of trannies

Pensive or bored?

My Melancholic Moment

Wateva!

The Veggie Monster Attacks -Go Ryan Go!

You have to feel bad for the guy who drives the small carcass van

My Absolute Favorite Pic of Bombay:

PMS: Not just for those with ovaries

Roughly around the second week of every month I get all hormony. I get moody, despondent and worse of all introspective. The older I get, and the more baggage I accumulate, the worse these times feel. And the past couple of months they have been down right cruddy (thankfully November was ameliorated by the timely intervention of a loving and caring dear friend – even if he’s a self-hating aussie trying to pass for a brit).

Does being older mean being more bitter/jaded/cynical?

Funny thing is that the other 3 weeks of the month, I’m pretty much ok. Well, less bitchy anyway…sort of.

But what I want to know is why across the board (i.e., most countries) men being emotional is bad? Why is it a sign of weakness to admit that we are vulnerable, as opposed to a sign of strength that we are comfortable with our own humanity?

I think the pollution in Bombay is getting to me. I most stop inhaling all this carbon monoxide before I start writing a self-help book, because I’m not changing my name to Deepak Chopra!

How do you know if you are having a nervous breakdown?

This is a theoretical question, but one that I am intrigued about. Do you really know if you are going crazy? Mental Health has never been my family’s strength and I’m left wondering how do I know if I am being overwhelmed by the tides of reality?

Terry stated a month or two ago that it sounds like I’m getting burnt out. I didn’t reply to her comment because I honestly don’t know.

I enjoy my work, I am constantly reminded that I am loved, but…Does everyone find happiness as elusive as I do? Or do I just don’t know how to be happy with what I got?

On a professional side, I seem to be doing ok (well not financially, but who uses that as an indicator of success). I’m respected, sometimes even looked up to, but I always ask: Why!? I really don’t do anything. I talk the big talk, I throw out jargon like it was confetti, and I read the titles and italics of reports and use that to make thesis statements. But in the end what do I contribute?

On the personal side, I have family and friends that truly love me, care for me, and support me unconditionally, but why am I always running away from them? Why do I sabotage every relationship I’ve ever been in? Ricky once said that I was not meant to settle down. Maybe he’s right, was I a nomad in a previous life trying to reclaim the open land in a globalized world?

Honestly, I just think I’m PMSing right now. Too much introspection resulting from a hormonal roller-coaster. I have been feeling kind of dark lately, not the usual peppy Andy – which in moments of self pity I wonder which one is the true me?

Ok enough doom and gloom, it’s unbecoming of a bullshit artist.

This day forth I am promising to make an effort to blog more regularly again. Maybe some more frequent mental haemorrhaging into cyber-space will prevent these creepy thoughts from re-surfacing.

Lazy

Pronunciation: 'lA-zE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): la·zi·er; -est
Etymology: perhaps from Middle Low German lasich feeble; akin to Middle High German erleswen to become weak
1 a : disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous b : encouraging inactivity or indolence lazy summer day>
2 : moving slowly : SLUGGISH
3 : DROOPY, LAX
4 : Someone with increased intellectual capacity who is smart enough to realise that the education system (and most of life) is fucked and ends up failing or fucking up because everything in reality is too boring

I'll take all of the above, with a heavy lean on number 4.

So in my constant battle with motivation many things have fallen by the wayside. Starting with dusting (or cleaning in general - thank god for my laundry guy or I would have nothing to wear) and last but not least my little ole blog. That sad part is I do like blogging (unlike cleaning which I detest) so I really don't have a viable excuse. Yes, I've been traveling (in October alone I was in Delhi, Chennai, and Cambodia) and I had a mild bronchial infection - but are they really excuses!?

Anyway, it's a new month and I want to get back into the swing of it. So, let's get back on track.

And for the record, I LOVE COMMENTS, the more you comment the more I write :-) Deal?

Cheerio and all that jazz.